first off. can you read the title?
anyway. okay, so dad's out of a job. that's... ridiculously surprisingly. no reason or anything. he's an incredibly hard worker and good at what he does so they must be as short on cash as the economy says they are. whatever. either way... fuck. good thing im getting a job soon.
so, my piano lessons are stopping. mom dropped school. ariels chances of going to Etown like she wants to.... extremely slimmed down. all very sort of depressing.
also due to the whole short-on-cash thing--ok, so i worked and got my own $75 on Sunday, right? and i wanted to go to a movie with mary and andrew. i didnt think this would be a problem. apparently though, using my own money for something i want--not a necessity, but so what?--and only asking for either permission to walk/bike or getting a ride is a problem. mom wont let me walk/bike but she flipped about driving me. she was like thats still money we need that money etc. etc. she told me i dont think you understand how short we are on money. i almost told her um I QUIT PIANO. and she didnt ask me to do that. I VOLUNTEERED. how can she say that i DONT understand!?!? it makes me sad that im not in piano anymore.
i saved thsi as a draft so i don't know where i was going with that. i was frustrated. i'm tired right now. i'm... gah.
i'm stressed out. three C's right now. i'm in pain in general from my oral surgery and my muscles around my neck & shoulders are incredibly sore as well. home life.... refer to above. havent had any super-recent flip-outs like that but... its still home life. no more piano. not helpful. cant play piano much, too tired and cant sit up that long.
and then there's relationships.
theres the never-ending one that is always there... or, not there. whatever you'd like to describe it as... either way, that doesn't help much. then there's the (maybe reciprocated?) crush that is especially confusing b/c this guy seems to have a crush on, oh, lemmee count... four or more girls? i'm lost. and then there's the crush that i have NO clue about. sometimes he'll do something cute/seemingly crush-ish and make it seem like he MIGHT like me or something but then i'll be wrong. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
anyway.
leaving house to help someone. or shes coming here. either way, gtg. just wanted to finally post this damned thing.
buh-bye.
oh and dont get me STARTED on jake..... USL:KDFJ:WGJSHG :WEJF :OIJF :FUCKFL:SJF:OWDMANIT
